the power to time travel to the present

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The power to see through glass

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The power to not think of a productive power.

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the ability bend your legs in a perfect circle

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The power of turning into a crushed can right after you got into a car accident.

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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The power of compulsive lying.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the power to be a free wireless hotspot only when you are completely motionless.

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the power to travel around the world in 24 hours

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To Shoot Piss Out Of Your Mouth Only If You Are Taking A Dump

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The power to see but only with eyes????

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the power to instantly make a time bomb explode the moment you touch it

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The power to have sex with any woman you want, but you are gay

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Be able to create fire with your hands but you are not invisible to it

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The ability to make knifes out of your own feces.

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The ability to face reality after reading all the pointless powers

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The power to see the future while you sleep. Side effects: insomnia

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the power to be forever alone

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The ability to hid your cats right ear for strenuous amounts of time

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The power to shrink boobs. -Big C

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The power to hear what is happening to objects (such as a bed).

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The power to nag at the speed of light before he even thinks about doing it you can literally nag him to death faster then the rapper twister can say his own name!!!

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the power to send text messages while driving

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!