The power to poop fast enough to splash your own bum.

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The ability to eat the red ones last

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The power to implode when you have pee and you can't stop

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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to eat a pie and get to fart an apple (cus why not)

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The power to shriek so loud your own eardrums cause nuclear explosions

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The ability to pass out at will.

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The power to eat socks

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The power to give epilepsy to hamsters.

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the ability to die at will, just by blinking

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The power to run at 0.5mph

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the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

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The power to write in invisible ink

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The power to be able to fall asleep instantly

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The power to instantaneously switch hats.

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The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

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The ability to levitate, but only when you're defecating.

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the power to shoot superman

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The power to turn into a slightly uncomfortable pair of pants.

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The power to become extremely intoxicated only during job interviews

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the power to breathe but only if there's oxygen present

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The power to eat anything in a minute.

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The power to change your mind

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the power to like charlie

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!