The power to make an awesome school lunch for the kids!

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Being able to be invisible when no one is watching.

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The ability to fly as high and as far as you want for 5 minutes, but you will always forget the time limit, and fall to the ground.

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The power to have sex with someone but only in your mind

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The power to waste time watching a video about pointless superpowers when you could do something productive.

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The power to have infinite energy, but only when you're asleep.

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the power to be unable to have a power.

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The power to be invisible when your eyes are closed.

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The power to teleport only when you have eaten something you really hate or allergic to.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to sexually attract whales

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The power to write pointless superpowers

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The power of confusing the word "your" for "you're", or vice versa.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power to say i can bend you

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The superpower to realize that if you guys thumb my former comment up, then it is no longer a useless "superpower" and would by itself contradict uh... itself.. by being useful... Moral: Hey, turning into Beiber at will is useful for banging silly young chicks at will is it not? And I will rather bang brainless women (beliebers yes I mean you, because everyone deserves some love) Disclaimer: Sexual age of consent is 16 over here, and good luck calling a whole nation for pedophiles, nope girls simply mature faster here... Fact: Above.

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The power to look angry when not trying too and everyone else notices it and im just lonely.

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To be able to catch a speeding bullet with your head.

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The power to never sleep and instead go outside and think about your life.

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The power to see in the dark while exposed to sunlight.

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The power to change your emotions at will.

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The ability to turn any escalator into a flight of stairs.

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The power to ejaculate lazer beams...

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Invisibility, but only in the dark.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!