The power to see five seconds into the future.

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the power to stop your addiction to placebos

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The power to project a hologram, but only of yourself projecting another hologram.

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the power to shit brixs!

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The ability to detach my nose and place it anywhere I want.

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The power to enjoy a raw oyster and not gag.

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The power to make your dick a poontang seeker.

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to be under 9000

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The power to achieve orgasm within 3 seconds

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the ability to be on Oprah but only in the crowd

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The power to have food poisoning but only after eating taco bell.

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The power to make snow yellow

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the power to be invisible but when you're alone

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The ability to li-li-li-lick you from your head to ur toes

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the ability to burn in hell

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the power to sit down in mid air

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the ability to sell Al Gore

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the power to have the best sex in the world, but only when your in a coma.

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your balls glow in the dark 6am every day

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u?op ?p?s-dn p??? o? ?????q? ???

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the ability to have sex with a sand spur

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The power to find out what a baby spider is thinking at any given moment.

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The power to live with only one kidney

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The power to time travel. Backwards. To the Holocaust

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!