the power to always hug people

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The ability to lift small objects with your mind, but only if you are touching them.

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The ability to print random memes on their tongue, but it has to be one that everyone in the room has seen before.

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The ability to go forward in time at will.

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The power to become a llama.

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The power to spell-check or at least reread what you're about to post.

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The power to fly, but only downwards

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The ability to heat up an object by 1 degree for every week you hold it.

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The power to get off the internet and do something productive

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the power to get in the van

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The power to control weather on Mars

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01111001 01110000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00101110 (The power to type in binary)

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The power to use your dick/tits as your cellphone at any time.

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The power to never be old but died at young age

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The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

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The power to read people's minds, but in a language you don't understand.

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The power to have your incontinence supplies delivered discretely to your door with little or no cost to you!

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The power to cure cancer, in people already dead.

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the power to be immortal, but only temporally

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

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The ability to create a chicken egg, once and then never again.

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The power to sharpen mechanical pencils and pens.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!