The power to levitate 3cm off the ground when no one is watching

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The ability to fly a millimeter off the ground.

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The power to make a woman make you a sandwich

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The power to whenever your punched you cry a lot of asid that burns your flesh

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The power to become white by going into midtown harlem at night and shouting: I HATE NEGROES!!! At the top of your lungs.

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The ability to talk to anybody in the world, as long as they are within your eyesight.

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The power to increase or decrease the size of your bones, but only your bones, not your flesh.

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The power to taste food 3 seconds before they eat it.

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The power to eat a cheeseburger and still get fat from it

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the power to glow in the dark during the day.

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The power to not constantly thumb my comments up or down, whichever. Moral: Energy spent on me, is energy well spent! Stay proud and walk tall soldier!

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The power drown in water

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The power to open jam jar lids, however stuck they are.

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The power to change locations with: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Hitler, Stalin, and many more, simply by jumping up and down 3 times.

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The ability to switch out elevator music with NPR

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the power to make an earthquake that an ant can not even feel

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The ability to read people's thoughts but only in a language that you do not understand.

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The power get everyone's attention by jerking off in public

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The power to read all the other pointless superpowers

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The power of temporary invincibility but you have to kill yourself first

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The power to circumcise yourself

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The ability to turn into any non-living object, but not back.

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The power to let someone control your dick

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The ability to be bulletproof after you get shot.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!