The ability to see things only as their component atoms.

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The power to get hard at will.

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The power to make ice sculptures out of marble

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The power to be light and stand against darkness. Moral: FU Destiny!

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The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

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the ability to eject a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing.

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The ability to be raped.

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The power to jump higher than a speeding bullet and run faster than a tall building.

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The power to shit yourself on a really hot day with no change of underwear

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The ability to taste only from your butt-hole.

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The power to write a country song

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The power to Master Bait, endlessly without getting satisfaction. Moral: A little less conversation, a little more action please...

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The power to breathe underwater but only if you are dry.

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The power to reverse gravity but only when you're outside.

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The power to always lie even when you don't want to and then you have to truthfully say that you were lying otherwise the closest person kicks you in the groins.

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The power to die.

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The power to speak parseltongue except when you're around snakes.

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The power to see 1 plank length farther then most normal people

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The power to turn on electronic devices without pressing the switch, but only when you're touching the switch.

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THE POWER TO POTENTIALLY HAVE A USELESS POWER ONLY WHILE READING USELESS WEBSITES ON MONDAY WHILE IT IS RAINING ON FIRE

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The power to transform gold into nothing.

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The power to swallow thousand liters of sperm without any ill effects.

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The power that turns farts into music.

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The power to always know what the time is, but not without a clock

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!