to have the power to dig a hole 2 milimeters deep in a century

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The power to be anyone you want but your still a nobody

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being allergic to dairy and soy

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The power to talk to animals but only as they are attacking you

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The power to repel women.

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The power to predict the present

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The power to get hard at will.

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The power to be mario for 10 seconds then you vomit shit for 17 hours. this happens every week.

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The power to walk on water mixed with cornstarch and cesium.

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The power to excel at something that nobody cares about.

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the power to know when the pope is taking a dump

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The Power to fart extremely loudly every time your in a crowd.

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The ability to DO A BARREL ROLL

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Invincibility, but you feel twice as much pain to everything

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the power to fail at life

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The power to erase your own existence.

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The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

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The power to die and come back to life in the middle of a crossfire between two tanks.

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The power to lick anything except pussy.

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The superpower to run at the speed of light, without having the body to handle such unnatural extension... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE...

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The Power to Breath When Ur dead

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The power to use your penis as a lasso.

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blindness

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!