the power to get sick

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the power to teleport to any place 1 centimeter away.

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the power to turn into nothing.

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The power to talk to plants but only when they have mean things to say.

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the power to fail at life

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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The power to sh*t bricks

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The power to smell any mans underwear without getting caught... (works only on straight men)

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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the power to be a master carpenter, make anything, except love.

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the power to be Justin bieber

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X ray vision on chairs

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The power to speed up time for only 1 Planck Instant every hour.

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The power to make Macs appear instantly, but be unable to left-click on them.

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the power to be a free wireless hotspot only when you are completely motionless.

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The power to tell when someone is using a cheese grater within 5 feet

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The power to create peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without having any peanut butter.

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The power to sneeze with your eyes opened.

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Power to freeze ice.

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The power to speak only one language

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The power to have no powers

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The power to ejaculate napalm

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The power to make people extremely happy as soon as you die.

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The power to summon a rainstorm. Just a rainstorm, nothing else.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!