The ability to digest three types of earth elementals

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The ability to know when men have erections

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The power to transform your appearance so that you look unmistakably like yourself.

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The power to become white by going into midtown harlem at night and shouting: I HATE NEGROES!!! At the top of your lungs.

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The ability to drop everything you hold

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The ability to throw a boomerang and have it come back to you

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The power to grow your nails longer

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The ability to read a doctor's handwriting

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The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

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The power to make every single person in the world hate you and want you dead.

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Having a 5 second eidetic memory

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Power to make it rain sideways.

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The ability to change the color of your poop

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Ability to make your eyes switch sockets

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The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

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The power to read minds, but only those of dead people.

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The power to live in lava, but only when your cold

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the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

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the ability to do absolutely nothing

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The power to shrink your private parts.

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The ability to tell when someone last used the bathroom by licking their thumb.

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The power to eat junk food at light speed

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The power to make a pint a gallon

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!