The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

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The power to read upside down...only when you're upside down.

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The power to grow your fingernails .0001 centimeters a day

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get my hair more 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 Straighter---Girl!

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The power to find any object in an I-Spy book, but instantly forget the location of the previously found object.

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To point out that the superpower below was the power to type partially invisible sentences. Moral: I did not realize that most of you would find that too hard to understand, but thumb me up if you did... And thumb me up if you did not... (watches comment disappear in the minus 10000 comments section) Damn flashes of the future... Heck! Just thumb it up if you like it because you liked it... and leave it be if you do not... or else I will use my most evil superpower in the world: Ignorance... aka I will ignore it.

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The power to talk like a leb when you get angry at your mum

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The power to make everyday Christmas once a year

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The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

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Spontaneous combustion... when on the internet

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The power of your girlfriend's will

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The power to eat anything, as long as it's food

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The power to have YMCA or "In the navy" play explosively loudly from your nostrils and be immune to it yourself. Moral: WE KNOW YOU ARE H0MOSEXUAL ALREADY! TURN THAT SHIT OFF!

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The power to have the world's biggest cumshots, but to have a numb penis.

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The power to play all Videogames you want, but you have to pay the original price for them.

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The power to find hiding spots quicker... like anne frank and osama bin ladin

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The power to make yourself fall into a ten year coma.

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the power to pee standing up when your a woman

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The power to fly at the speed of sound, but only at ground level with your eyes closed.

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The power to fall asleep at will. But it's only active when you're asleep.

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To be able to summon old people

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The power to worsen your own eyesight at will.

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The power of reading your own mind.

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The power to have rotten teeth until you go to the dentist's.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!