The power to become CHUCK NORRIS! (if you are a teen) Which by activation you realize he is just a mediocre actor... and worst... over 70 years of age...

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The power to see through glass. Oh wait.

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The power to throw-up purple cheese curds on command, but you are also allergic to purple cheese curds?

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The power the fly unless your alive. The power to swim in water unless your wet.

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The power to spell words incorrectly when speaking.

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The power to have the money to buy anything in the world, however you only have enough money to pay for the price of the object and not the taxes.

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The power to emit contagious yawns.

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the power to find a needle in a haystack

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The ability to climb into your windows snatch your people up and find your kids , find your wife and find your husband and rape them . ( only active in linkin park )

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Breath powers so strong your normal breath alone can break down walls whenever you get a cold.

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to talk in a mexican accent whenever you want to say "Whats up Essay"

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Being Aquaman

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Be as cool as Julien Roby who go outside without is coat during winter

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the ability to taste so good it makes you wanna slap yo mama

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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Having a 5 second eidetic memory

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The power to bleed anally at will

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The ability to cure someone of HIV, but you contract it yourself.

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the power to glow in the light

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The power to bleed

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The power of reading your own mind.

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The ability to teleport but you poop your pants whenever you do it even if your not wearing pants

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The power to consume extrement and expire. Nero: This is simply my seal of quality.

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The power to absorb your hair into your body and the burp up a bottle of shampoo and you have to do this once a day or your eyes and ears and mouth and nose will liquify for a day.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!