the power to travel through time... at the speed of normal time.

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The power to make any woman fall in love with you (Single or not) But during sex you can't pull out and protection always fails.

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The power to die at will, and you can only do it once.

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the power to finally find your way out of a revolving door.

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The power to fall up.

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The power to smell poo...

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The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

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The power life like a hermit.

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the power to complete math exercises

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The power to stop people from committing suicide just before they do, but only by killing them...

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The ability to teleport, but only into solid stone.

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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the ability to grow and shrink... only inside buildings.

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The power to hate/love/care about me because of who I am. Moral: Relax dear friends (you other fools relax too) I was born this way, and I love every second of it, I am on fire and this workout gives me so damn much pheromones and testosterone that I am gonna invite a cute friend and have a damn threesome! Why, because its a mans world... never forget that kids...

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the power to be extremely guilty in the bum.

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The ability to teleport to any place in the universe, but only if it is currently occupied by something else

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To point out that the superpower below was the power to type partially invisible sentences. Moral: I did not realize that most of you would find that too hard to understand, but thumb me up if you did... And thumb me up if you did not... (watches comment disappear in the minus 10000 comments section) Damn flashes of the future... Heck! Just thumb it up if you like it because you liked it... and leave it be if you do not... or else I will use my most evil superpower in the world: Ignorance... aka I will ignore it.

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The power to turn gold into lead.

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EntirelyTooManyNapkins Man

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The ability to be smarter than the average bear.

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"man hiding at the ladies room" "woman enters" SURPRIIIIIISEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeAERHG! Ok so now we know my dick fits up your ass... hi my name is... why you crying?

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To have to ability to lose the game, even with hax.

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the power to smell shit from miles away

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The power to look ugly when people look at you but look hot when no one looking at you

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!