- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

The power to pee after drinking lots of water

the power to shoot fireballs.....only when your under water

The ability to make someone's heart stop, but only after they have died on their own of natural causes

The ability to read braile.

The power to perfectly tie a Cherry stem in your mouth only while your in and elevator going down in Shanghai on the fourth shortest tower with a pink roof

The power to read View Terms of Services

The power to telepathically open umbrellas, only open and only umbrellas.

The power to have tastebuds inside your ass.

The ability to just 1 meter high, but whenever you do so you lose a meter from your height, only to regain it when you hit the ground.

The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

the power to turn into a fish that is less then one mm small while only on land

The power to poo.

the power to fall asleep while being awake

The ability to levetate three-four inches only when you are alone in an elevator.

The power to make sense of Donald Trump

The power to only be obesely fat.

the ability to duct tape an alarm clock to the side of your head

the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

being able to change shape whist flying "It's a bird!, no it's a plane , It's a flying Sammich!?!

the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

The power to have explosive diarrhea involuntarily but only on dinners with your date and his/her parents.

The power to eat sandwiches and never get full

the power to sleep while standing!

Pointless Super Powers