The power to travel in time for 2 seconds

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The power to smell bacon and/or ham at 3 o clock in the afternoon on the second Saturday of March

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The power to think of powers someone else has already come up with

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The power to blow a bubblegum bubble without bubblegum.

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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Immunity to everything but AIDS, bears, being choked with cloth, Donald trump, Energy Blasts, fire, guns, etc.

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The Power of Anti-Sex

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The power to listen to justin beiber

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the power to be the best at a game but nobody knows you

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The power to speak parseltongue except when you're around snakes.

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The power to always smell like cheep wine.

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The ability to sleep but only when you don't want to

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The ability to arouse any woman over the internet but never meet them in person.

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The power to simply walk into mordor.

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The ability to levitate but only if you're touching the ground

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Clairvoyance, but only when your mothers having intimacy with your dad.

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The ability to turn into a were-turtle when exposed to the full moon.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to automatically uncensor anything you want.

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The power to get anything for free but at a cost

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The power to be MAGNETO! And have the power to WELCOME TO DIE! You dare not WELCOME TO DIE? AHAHAH! X-CHICKEN!

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The power to summon earthworms

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The power to be invisible when singing

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the power to speak chinese to indians and indians only

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!