The power to have the world's biggest cumshots, but to have a numb penis.

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The powers to blink at the speed of light

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the power to hover 1 atom above the ground

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The power to vomit a thoroughly blended mix of pickles, cheese, onions, caramel, lead paint, octopi, boiling water, vinyl, super glue, hot sulfur froth, and hand sanitizer.

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The power to watch womens basketball

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The power to lose your hearing and eyesight/

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The power to be invisible when singing

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The power to look like yourself

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifes blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents vehicles trucks electricity meteors bombs rockets drug addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys radiation.

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the power to the power to put water in you whenever except fr when you are thirsty

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The power to be normal and average

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the power to think like a sumo wrestler between 2:30 and 3:30 am on thursdays

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The power of telekinesis over any object one is physically touching.

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The power to be Obama when he's not president anymore

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The power to climb trees really fast but only downwards.

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The power to comment on Facebook with a pencil.

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The power to know every language except for ones spoken in the country your in.

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the ability to fly- but only indoors

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The ability to climb into your windows snatch your people up and find your kids , find your wife and find your husband and rape them . ( only active in linkin park )

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To be able to commit a sexual offense but never get away with it

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The ability to fly, only when you are asleep.

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The power to take in air into your lungs through your nose

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The ability to see through blind peoples eyes

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The power to shoot string cheese out of your fingers.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!