The power to jerk off without using your hands

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Zebra Man has the power to change color from black to white and back again, at will

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The ability to give yourself a stroke just using your mind.

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The power to make everyone think that having no power is the ultimate power so everyone thinks they're powerful when they realize they have no powers but you have one so you win

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The power to make the opposite of what you want to happen (and you can not think of bad things happening)

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Moral man. Moral: I have self irony... which isn't a superpower... neither is being me... But its at least Super pointless and I have the power to do this... SO CLOSE! SO DAMN CLOSE! :(

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the power to be a free wireless hotspot only when you are completely motionless.

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the power to uncontrollably say but I love you, when you're breaking up with someone

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the power to be incredibly charming and witty but only around old people and little children.

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The power to change your eye colour but you are the only one who can see the difference.

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THE POWER TO POTENTIALLY HAVE A USELESS POWER ONLY WHILE READING USELESS WEBSITES ON MONDAY WHILE IT IS RAINING ON FIRE

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The power to be a dog, with Herpes, that smells like farts.

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The power to turn any department store into a Londis.

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The power to move 1 vein slightly to the left, but only if you moved to an apartment on the 29th of February (in any leap year).

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The power to look like yourself

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The power to turn into a baby randomly

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The power to take huge shits at will.

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the power to do one push-up

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The ability to breathe in space,but only when there's oxygen

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The power to hear what is happening to objects (such as a bed).

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the power to turn into a narwhal. Once. At your grandmother's funeral

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The power to type good morals under your comments. Moral: Ever seen me post an actual moral (even less a GOOD one?) Pssh! There is no such thing as good, not that I am aware of at least >:)

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X-Ray vision that only works on fat chicks.

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The power to use a ridiculous signature that kills any chance of receving green thumbs. Moral: What you talking bout foo?

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!