- Pointless Super Powers

the ability to post here

spontaneous ejaculation

The power to remember what your homework is two minutes before you have to turn it in.

The power to recite all digits of pi, but you can’t stop and you die when you’re done

The power to absorb alcohol twice as fast

the power of superspeed but only backwards

the power to eat only one lays potato chip

To be able to turn into any molusk when in a lava pit

The power to watch tv while sleeping

the power to turn invisible when no one else is around.

The ability to turn invisible but only when you're playing a trombone.

the power to throw dead dogs at your enemies

The power of having any superpower Batman has at will.

The power to realize that your personality is like a shithole.

the power to be really itchy.

The power to greatly enlarge your penis only if you are presenting.

The Power to lose a fight before it begins

xray vision , but you must close your eyes

The power to shoot socks out of your hands.

The power to put water up my butt and squeeze and shitty water squirts out.

The power to write a country song

the superpower to be able to fuck extremely good with or without genitals

The power to go forward in time so you get defeated faster

The power to make poorly drawn art in less time than it takes to blink.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!