The power to be dead

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Power to know EVERYTHING you say tha just happened

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The power to become a destructive green beast that demolishes cities, which you have absolutely no control over whenever you get angry or scared.

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The power to generate lottery numbers which don't win

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The power to piss out of your ass and shit through your dick

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The power to hear people from across the globe, make people move with your own mind, and the ability to make people disappear from the Earth. Ladies and Gentleman, I call it MMORPG!

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the ability to grow and shrink... only inside buildings.

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The power to grow increasingly warm fur as your body temperature rises.

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The ability to say YOLO without getting shot.

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power to drop the soap in the jail shower room

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The power to eat your own face.

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The power to breath fire even though you are not fireproof.

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the power to get blood clots

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the power to be famous but no one in the world knows you are

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the power to turn into nothing.

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The power to be invisible when your eyes are closed.

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The ability to not be Batman

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The power to correctly guess how old shag rugs are

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get my hair more 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 Straighter---Girl!

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The power to run at the speed of light, but are paralyzed from the neck down.

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The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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the power to end sentences with prepositions.

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The power to make apples into pennies one per day.

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The power to make any woman have volcanic earth.shattering orgasms but only if she's having sex with another man

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!