The power to fly, but only in microgravity.

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the power to get in the van

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The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The ability to see things only as their component atoms.

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The ability to teleport, but only into solid stone.

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The ability to get up early for school, but only on weekends.

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The ability to have glow stick bones (glow when broken)

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The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

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The power to see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch

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The ability to turn into Jeff the Magic Cactus Baby, for a second, while you are sleeping.

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Uber Sensitive man, in terms of touch and emotion.

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The power to bring Magic: the Gathering cards to life, but only the land cards.

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The power to control disabled people with your mind.

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the power to finish your plate of veggies when ever you like.

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The power of omniscience but it causes a near fatal heart attack every time you think.

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The power to transform into a baby only when around pedophiles.

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The power to become extremely strong unless there is someone stronger around you.

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The power to heal someone's injuries by killing them.

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The power to suck deez nuts

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The power to convert oxygen to carbon dioxide

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The power to break your legs before hitting the ground after jumping off of heights

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Invisibility when people aren't looking.

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the power to do two suicide bombings

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The power to strap wheels of cheese to your own body without getting tired easily.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!