- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

Power to always have exact change.

The power to have 21/20 vision.

The power to hear peoples thoughts, only when you're deaf

the ability to pee in your own butt.

The ability to be smarter than the average bear.

alarm that goes off when hiding

The ability to hear a tree falling in the woods when there is nobody there to hear it.

The power to transform any cutlery into a plastic spork, but only when you're in life threatening situations.

The power to pee from your eyes

The power to think that mayonnaise is an instrument.

The superpower of surviving a gunshot, if properly attended in a hospital afterwards.

The power to look really cool when sitting in a chair when nobody's looking at you

The power to fly without leaving the ground.

The power to breathe underwater, only in sewers.

The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

The power to fly into the sun.

The power to have your piss turn to solid gold before it exits you.

The power to grow a beard really fast but only relative to the hair on your head

The power to come second in any race

The power to talk like a leb when you get angry at your mum

the power that makes your ass turn into a shit machine gun, but you can only use it if its directed at your mouth.

The power to fly when your in an airplane

Pointless Super Powers