The power to destroy the whole universe by any sudden movement. (Our existence rests on you`re shoulders man, don't even breathe nor blink)

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The power to detach you`re penis and use it as a throwing weapon... to late you discover its not possible to attach it back :(

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The power to wake up 5 minutes earlier.

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The ability to undo anybody's bra with your mind, but only when its not being worn.

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The power to control which nut your sperm comes from.

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The power to confess crimes you haven't committed.

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Now you can stop the time for half a second, while walking against a strong wind.

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Power to see through clothes... only to see more clothes

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The power to cure cancer, but cause death by radiation poisoning.

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The power to run through walls, but you have to be running at full speed.... and it only works 50% of the time.

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The power to run fast, but turn black in the process. oh yea and the power only works in police stations

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The ability to be invicible, only when you commit a suicide.

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THE POWER TO FUCK ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SUCK

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The powers of a burnt face

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The ability to make the skin above your eyebrows really, really dry and flaky---whenever you want!

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The ability to never pick up on sarcasm.

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The power that when im drowning in water i can turn the water into velociraptors!

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The ability to unbleep swear words on your tv.

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Liam Brudenell

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The power to have your brain shut down when you take any type of drug

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The ability to speak Yiddish without learning it.

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the power of cosmic pimping with a space suit on!

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The power to make hats fall in love.

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The power to lick your own elbow

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!