The power to freeze time, but not unfreeze it.

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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the power to disinfect wigs.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to shatter a mirror just by staring at it.

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The power to look like Stephen Hawking but have none of his intelligence.

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the power of mind controlling...yourself

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the power to say no to only dates with hot girls(your a strait male)

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The ability to go blind every time you open your eyes

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The ability to spontaneously get drunk, but only when writing your exams

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the power to die

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cry acid tears

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The power to become normal the point is he has no powers

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The power to have no power.

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The power to eat anything, but always vomit 15 minutes later.

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The power to eat your own head.

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The ability to turn into a phone when its smash your phone season

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The power to hover a milimeter off solid ground when performing a walking motion.

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The power to teleport 13,000,000,000 lightyears but not be able to return.

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Feeling people's depression.

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The power to speak to toasters

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the power to spell words wrong

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The power to go to sleep for 7 hours a day

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To the comment below: You wont get a chance to miss me mortal... Moral: The color of envy... you wish you could be like me... everyone of you, yet some of you got the balls/pussies to prove it! For the people! For the freedom of speech! For courage and strength! For balls of steel! For the ladies... and most importantly... because I f*cking want to! NOW AND FOREVER! I AM MORAL MAN!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!