The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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the power to poop dogs without fur.

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The power of attracting fired bullets

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The ability to walk backwards... backwards.

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The ability to lose 0.000000000001 percent more skin per year.

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The power to eat just 1 Lays potato chip

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The power to die

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The ability to control dairy products

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The power to smell through your arse.

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The power to walk on water mixed with cornstarch and cesium.

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The power to turn a light on with your mind, but only if the light is already on

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The power to fly only one inch off the ground

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the power to randomly die at any moment

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the power to walk on land.

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The power to have a unique fart smell

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The power to produce boogers that look and taste like caramel until you put them in your mouth...

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the power to distinguish gays from not gays..

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The power to smell inside of your own butt.

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The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

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The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

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BULLET ATTRACTION.

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THE POWER OF PEDOBEAR!!!!! but only when theres law enforcement around

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You can hear what people think ...in sign language.

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The power to have intense orgasms, but only if you choke yourself.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!