The power to turn into a magikarp

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The ability to levitate, but only when you're defecating.

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The power to make some else throw up only if u throw up on them

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The ability to talk to dust mites.

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The ability to melt ice slower than it would usually melt

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The power to have intense orgasms, but only if you choke yourself.

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The power to convince two people I am not taking sides while simultaneously taking both sides.

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The ability to fall into 1cm cubed pieces when startled. No ability to pull yourself together, or move while in cubes. Parts must be reassembled correctly to re-connect.

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The power to give the wrong directions

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The power to be able to study seriously, but still be clueless when test day arrives.

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The power to listen to Meghan Straight talk

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Liam Brudenell

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The power to make any single girl instantly reach for her Mace.

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The power to speak any language, but not understand them.

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The power to vote for the Presidential candidate of your choice, only to be overruled by the Florida Supreme Court.

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the power to hover an inch above the ground once every month.

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The power to vomit every time you burp.

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The power to have no power.

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The power to have time when you're doing nothing.

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The power to give Japanese cartoons seizures.

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The power to turn random things that you touch into water, like in a schick hydro commercial

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The Power to Read really Small Words

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The power to see in the dark, but only when the lights are on.

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Feeling people's depression.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!