The ability to teleport to the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

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The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

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The power to fly, shapeshift, lift very heavy objects, teleport, and heal injuries every year only on the 31st of June

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The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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The power to talk to plants but only when they have mean things to say.

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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The power to lick your balls.

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The power to NOT think up a pointless superpower.

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The power to fart on a zebra when you are next to a zebra and have to fart.

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The power to speak any language, but not understand them.

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The ability to talk to deer, only while riding one.

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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The Power to Read really Small Words

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The power to attract lightning strikes to yourself.

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The power to fly, but only when you touch the ground.

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the power to predict Justin Beiber's next album

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The power to bleed out of your nose all the tme.

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The power to be immortal but only in times where it does not mater, stops working after the age of 50.

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The power to stand in line at the DMV with a smile on your face.

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the power to shoot knifes from ur pen*s hole.(ouch)

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The power to act like Tommy Wiseau

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!