The power to teleport, but in doing so you lose a limb.

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The power to turn into a magikarp

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The power to have super-sonic hearing but only for one second every three hours.

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The ability to grow and retract your hair at will, but cutting it will remove the ability.

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Pain Absorber. Where u rid others of their pain but suffer yourself !!

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The power to kill yourself with a piece of paper.

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The power to walk upside down but only when you're in Australia.

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The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

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the power to the power to sit on your computer all day and read all of these pointless super powers while eating or drinking soda

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The power of licking your own elbow and nose

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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the power to fly but only 5 feet off the ground and at walking speed.

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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Tha ability to not be able to fly

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The power to time travel 1 second at a time

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The power to ejaculate needles.

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The super power to shine in daylight

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The power to grow increasingly warm fur as your body temperature rises.

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The power to cause slow people in front of you in the corridor to walk 3% faster

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The power of heat vision* *Only for cooking.

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The power to kill yourself if there is a bullet in your heart, brain, and liver all at the same time

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the power to look directly at the sun only if it is on the other side of the earth

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The power to lick anything except pussy.

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The ability to hear people's thoughts after they've already said them.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!