the power of words

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The power to only sit down and not stand up.

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to be shitty

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The power to perform stan up comedy whilst sitting down

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The power of temporary invincibility but you have to kill yourself first

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The power to look beautiful/handsome when nobody is looking at you.

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the power to become translucent

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The power to answer trivia questions, but only being able to do so in a loud, aggressive voice.

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the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

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the power to be immortal, but only temporally

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The power to change into an Arab at will. Moral: Will not work inside arab-countries.

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The power to burn the sun.

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the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

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the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

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The power to predict the present

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to make your bowel work backwards

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The power to fly into the sun.

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The power to drink clean water (because i think dirty water is ewwy)

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the power to stub your toe while gardening and only cry for twenty minutes.

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The power to walk on water, but only if its temperature is below 0° C

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The power to kill anyone just by threatening them with slavery and death and leaving foot and fingerprints all around their place. Moral: THREATEN MY PEOPLE WITH SLAVERY AND DEATH! THIS IS SPARTA!

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The power to not get shit d*ck

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the power to spawn goosebumps when ever you want

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make your arm REALLY. fart power

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!