The power to shit out toilet paper.

The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

The power to uncontrollably fart when your with your girlfriend

The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

The power to control the weather, but only in space

the powers to be a fat gassy woman

th eability to have sex with anyone in the world but have to have sex with rosie o'donnell first

The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

The power to put up with your in-laws.

have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

The ability to jump

The Power to Breath When Ur dead

The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

The power to be a GOD with your imagination

The power to gain 10 pounds whenever you eat something

The power to turn into any cat which is about to give birth.

The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

The power to turn everything you touch into shit.

The ability to make knifes out of your own feces.

The ability to change your hair color to your current hair color

The power to toss you`re limbs at your enemies, but not to re-attach them.

The power to convert metric to imperial

The power to take huge shits at will.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!