- Pointless Super Powers

The power to look at someone and imaginatively initiate intercourse in the most unreasonable way possible.

The power of attracting lightning to your body, but not being imune to it.

The power to stop time but if you do so you will also stop.

The ability to transform into a bucket full of water... With no idea how to turn back.

The power to have ABSOLUTELY anything you want!... ...As long as that absolutely anything you want happens to be a pile of premium fresh horsecrap... Moral: This made myself lol, so it probably has 16 red thumbs by now YAY!!!!!!!!

be a massive dickhead, like thomas bull

The power to heal yourself but only damage you inflict on yourself.

The ability to excrete Hydrochloric acid, but only in your stomach.

The power to permanently shorten your own penis

The power to love Justin Bieber

The power to have a strong bladder for 5 minutes following urination.

The power to transform money into cow eating chickens

The power to inhale beverages through your genitals.

The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

The ability to throw a boomerang and have it come back to you

the power to see the things that are happening right

the ability to un-dank any meme

The power to poop almost instantly, but you always have the runs.

The power to sing that lame "Tomorrow" song from Annie uncontrollaby on Dec. 21, 2012.

A power that makes your shits 10 times larger

The power to never finish your sente

The power to fall down in a forest, and, if none is around, noone will hear you.

to zap people but only yourself

The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!