The power to be Chuck Norris's bitch.

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The ability to be born, live for about 75 years and then die.

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The power to fly if you are eating.

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The power to say IS every time in the same over the top dramatic way

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Der pawr tu speek kat langwage

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The power to get a boner, but only when you're hugging your dad.

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the power to pee for longer then a normal person

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The power to start typing a sentance and then start writing another way to save on your car insurance is to take the The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start to write a book about a magic trick that reveals cards

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the power to inhale and exhale air

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open up pickles glass

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The power to shatter a mirror just by staring at it.

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The power to blink 1% faster than normal.

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The power to have super strength, however when you use it you instantly become paralyzed.

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Every time you clap some one dies

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power to be the best theif ever known to man but only if your in the most high tech prison

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The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

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The power to make some else throw up only if u throw up on them

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The power to temporarily give yourself a random STD.

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The power to only use yahoo.com

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The power to instantly pee when you see a person.

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The power to turn on your Xbox without touching it but you need your controller.

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The power to read people's mind but can only read their minds when they are thinking about sex.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!