The power to induce vomiting after a crazy junk food spree.

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the ability to tell time without a watch

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The power to instantaneously fall asleep but only when tomorrow is a day off.

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the power to shoot poop very far out your butt

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the power to see through hills , but only in saskatchewan

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The power of turning into a crushed can right after you got into a car accident.

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The power to have superpowers from the beginning

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The power to be afraid of movies that are not scary

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to understand that if you type or read at this section, then it is probably because it means something to you... Moral: That is almost a superpower... I mean wow pointless makes a point which is pointless, and a pointless point with a point is... anyway I just divided by infinite loop. Cant say that is far away from zero which by itself is basically a circle... Damn im good! (just for that final line im gonna get thumbed down, its worth it though.

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The power to NOT think up a pointless superpower.

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The to ejaculate anytime but only when your mom appears in front of you.

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The ability to turn any escalator into a flight of stairs.

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The power to look at the sum, but only when it's night

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The power to see through anything except air.

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The power to teleport through open doors.

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The power to have diarrhea at any time

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The power of hearing peoples conversations but only on topics related to Shrek.

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The power to fly upwards but not downwards

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The power to summon Pedobear and only if you are under 10.

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the ability to look into your brain

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The power to control karma. Moral: Karma is a BlTCH! MY BlTCH!

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The power to teleport to the south pole.

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The power to be as strong as a bear... but only when fighting another bear.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!