The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The power to stick your head up your ass

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The ability to levetate three-four inches only when you are alone in an elevator.

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The power to have all of your genes inherited from your parents

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the power to tolerate alex simpson

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The power to sing in Portuguese, but only when you're being arrested.

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Having a 5 second eidetic memory

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the ability to be a super genius but can't speak or write

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Being able to fly in place.

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The power to open doors that are already open

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to be able to lift any weight of feathers

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The power to heal any wounds caused by the bite of an Indonesian speckled carpet shark in an area of slightly tepid saltwater any time between 3:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon

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The power to read minds, but only those of dead people.

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Ability to make your eyes switch sockets

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The ability to breath under lava

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The power to make a pint a gallon

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the power to like charlie

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The power to feel like you're gonna sneeze forever

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the power to poo out of your eyeballs and they burn when you do it

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The power to read 20 pages of pointless superpowers, but only during science class

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the power to look like a boy and sing like a girl (bieber joke)

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The power to type some incredibly perverted "superpowers" and get a boner while laughing so loud the neighbors on both sides of your apartment closed their windows.

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The power to fly, but only fly north

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!