The power to breath in 1% more oxygen

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I HAVE A TINY PINGAS! (Penis) Moral: Ladyfriend here daring me to post this here, PFF! Is that even a dare? I got balls of steel! Oh, and I should totally ask my doctor if she can give me something that helps me unwind after multiple female company, or at least they are daring me all to type that pff! Im not even good looking... And noooooo, nobody dared me to type that, they want todeeeeeeeeeellllllllteeeeeeeeee tht BUTI SHALLOOOWWWWWWINSSSSSSSS

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The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

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the ability to make your eyes pop out.

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The ability to just 1 meter high, but whenever you do so you lose a meter from your height, only to regain it when you hit the ground.

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The power to hear a person's thoughts, but only when they're on the toilet.

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The ability to not be Batman

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The power to control weather on Mars

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The power to see through clothes of women 70+.

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The power to teleport to the center of the Earth.

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The power to sharpen mechanical pencils and pens.

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The power to Insult people by accidentally saying something you didn't know was offensive to them. You adopted jew

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The power to complete the jigsaw puzzle that you got bored of because it was to hard and now its in the box and covered in dust

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The power to perfectly sing any song by Justin Bieber

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Power that makes you perfect in being useless

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The power to do nothing with your life.

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Really bendy thumb

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The ability to change the color of your socks while wearing shoes

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The Power to realize the Chuck Norris is overrated, not funny, not that strong, old, over used and anyone who tells a Chuck Norris joke is not funny and never will be, has no future as a comedian or any future at all and will die having not accomplished anything in life.

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The power grow arm pit hair 5 times faster and 5 times longer than it was after shaving.

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The power to levitate for 10 seconds only when having explosive diarrhea

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The power to RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE, only for becoming a homoerotic bodybuilder addicted to steroids made from white bull testicles, and eating so many that you eventually become a golden werewolf, a blue hedgehog or something like that...

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The power to fart to inside. By mouth.

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!