The power to be a dog, with Herpes, that smells like farts.

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The ability to obtain a date with any girl you want, but only if you are gay.

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The superpower to read minds only if they think about nothing

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The power to hear train whistles from 50 miles away.

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Being able to shapeshift into a grandpa then not being able to turn back until next year

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The power to simply walk into mordor.

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The power to flip the world upside-down when you do a handstand.

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The ability to be the newest post until someone else posts.

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The power to turn yourself into Donald Trump.

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the power to read impossibly fast, but only when you're watching a movie with no subtitles

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The ability to instantly friendzone yourself.

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The power to conjure chairs at will.

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the power to shout and make people piss their pants

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The power to absorb energy wavelengths, in the visible light spectrum, from objects and create a mental picture of the shape and color of the objects they reflected off of.

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the ability to have children fully grown

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The power to shoot a gun with less bullets.

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the power to turn into a narwhal. Once. At your grandmother's funeral

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The power to hear what is happening to objects (such as a bed).

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The power to fly, but only when pigs do

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The power to hide in 'shit brix' pictures but not be black

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The power to generate lottery numbers which don't win

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The power to use a ridiculous signature that kills any chance of receving green thumbs. Moral: What you talking bout foo?

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The power to understand math.

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The power to vomit whenever you want to.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!