The power to become me. Moral: You could not handle the awesomeness and would ruin yourself just so you can feel "normal" rather than awesome.

Be dumb and gay like austin Calhoun

The power to watch a movie without falling asleep through most of it

the power to make bubles without soap

the power to Shoop Da whoop out of your bum hole

the power to turn into the hardest material in the whole of space but while in that mode you cant move

The power to have all the powers of all the superheroes, but only on February 30th.

The ability to breath under lava

the power to shit bricks

The power to fly as long as your feet the ground

The power to achieve world peace but only at the expense of your own happiness and the lives of all your friends and family members and everyone will hate you for no reason after doing so.

The power to heal any wounds caused by the bite of an Indonesian speckled carpet shark in an area of slightly tepid saltwater any time between 3:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon

The power to grow the pinky nail of your right hand

the power to get drunk you are needed

the power to convert oxygen and glucose to water and carbon dioxide every time you breathe.

The power to telepathically open umbrellas, only open and only umbrellas.

The power to see through things like locked cabinets, wrapped birthday presents etc. But only if you know whats inside.

The power to change laws if you're allowed to.

The ability to orgasm every time you speak.

The power to have your incontinence supplies delivered discretely to your door with little or no cost to you!

The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

The power to make a pint a gallon

The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

The ability to teleport, but only into solid stone.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!