the power to regenerate but only if your not hurt in any way

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The power to not die in lava but only when you are cold

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The ability to money into dog shit.

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the power to float one atom above the ground

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The power to make people believe it wasn't' you who just farted

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The power to be 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds younger

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The power to control time, space and rule the universe... But only when you are dreaming.

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The ability to propel yourself and others away from you by sneezing.

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The power to tie your shoes...... while your on BOTH knees

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the ability to post here

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The power to make the tip of your penis invisible at will.

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The power to be as strong as a bear... but only when fighting another bear.

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The power to turn time back... To the point where you turned it back.

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the ability to make your penis more sophistcated than yourself

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The ability to drop everything you hold

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you can talk to dust but they dont respond in a language you can understand

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The power to pickpocket anyone, but only if you intend to place something more valuable/useful into their pockets to replace what you've taken

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the power to know what time is not

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The ability to turn into a hipster at will.

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The ability to fly, but only when sleeping...

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The power to poop and pee at the same time

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The power to have as much fun typing these as me. Moral: Of course you possess no such "useless" superpower you sad loser!

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The power to believe people will vote for you`re comment, which starts WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY in the back.

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The power to bring life to nobody, except Winston Chrurchil.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!