The power to fill in ___ blank

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The power to feed cat toes to your boss but only during a job interview

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The power to be a dog, with Herpes, that smells like farts.

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The power to understand irony.

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The ability to turn into Gary Coleman

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the power to waste the space in the typing boxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :D

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The power to tell time every other second. sometimes.

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The ability to know what people think of you when they see you. But you already know everyone hates you.

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The power to empty your bladder without going to the restroom but only when you really have to poop and it is trying to force its way out.

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The Power to look mildly far away but only with something on your face to help you see

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The power to shit a blue agressive monkey.

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The power of heating things if they are located in microwave.

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The power to shoot spiderwebs but only out of your fully erect dick

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the ability to fly- but only indoors

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The power to eat carrot cake, then die 12 seconds

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The power to eat food

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the power to have a fancy costume and a nice car-batman

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the power of turnung into a sheep when ever you are in a fight

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The ability to never have to take a shit again

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the power to see moving objects farther than they actually are.

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The power to reproduce asexually.

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the power to not fall in love with someone while you're dating someone else.

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The power to be a man that makes very good sammiches.

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The power to like this comment while you can't like any other ones.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!