The power to resist the Facebook status forces.

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The power to go back to Anti-jokes.

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The power to send emails via pigeon

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The power to excrete food colouring from your sweat glands.

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The ability to teleport from any toilet to any toilet and read minds of anyone in the bathroom all around the world.

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The power to cease to exist at birth!

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The power to shoot poop balls when you masterbate.

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The ability to know what people think of you when they see you. But you already know everyone hates you.

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the power to waste the space in the typing boxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :D

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The power to WATCH ME WHIP AND WATCH ME NAE NAE

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The power to tell time every other second. sometimes.

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the power to do something amazing, when no one's looking.

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The power to shit a blue agressive monkey.

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The power to empty your bladder without going to the restroom but only when you really have to poop and it is trying to force its way out.

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The power to eat your own face.. the one time

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The power to breathe without thinking about it.

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the power to commit suicide when you are about to die

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the ability to uncontrollably disprove the existence of god but only in front of nuns.

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The power to speak 360 words/min. in multi-language.

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The power of heating things if they are located in microwave.

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the power to make have wolverines claws but no healing abilitys

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The power to fall off a tree, then land in spikes.

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The ability to catch any ilness you want.

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THe power to whistle from your butthole but any time you do this your penis shrinks

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!