The power to jump 100 feet in the air, but only while you're in a building

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The power spite flower

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The power to empty your bladder without going to the restroom but only when you really have to poop and it is trying to force its way out.

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The power to eat your own face.. the one time

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The power to shit a blue agressive monkey.

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The power to breathe without thinking about it.

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The power to speak 360 words/min. in multi-language.

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the power to commit suicide when you are about to die

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The power of heating things if they are located in microwave.

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The power to write in invisible ink

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the power to make have wolverines claws but no healing abilitys

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The ability to catch any ilness you want.

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the power to have a fancy costume and a nice car-batman

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the power two become drunk at anytime

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The power to turn any traffic light and crosswalk sign from red to green but only when your eyes are closed.

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The superpower to be able to blend in with trees when there are no trees in a 5 km radius

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the power to see moving objects farther than they actually are.

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The power to think of hilarious intensely racist jokes, but only at Black Lives Matter protests.

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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The power to absorb your hair into your body and the burp up a bottle of shampoo and you have to do this once a day or your eyes and ears and mouth and nose will liquify for a day.

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The ability to trip on flat surfaces

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The power to be a man that makes very good sammiches.

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the power to see through tv's but only when your trying to watch one

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The power to like this comment while you can't like any other ones.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!