the power to shrink down to the size of a quark but then you turn into a black hole and destroys the universe.

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The power to forget what pointless superpower you were going to write

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The power to survive a car crash only if it's between 9 and 9.30 am.

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The power to play a flute with your ass

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The power to find lost socks.

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The power to understand that Jesus called himself Son of man, which translates into Anderson, which makes a certain movie make a bit more sense. Moral: THIS IS MY WORLD MISTER ANDERSON! MY WOOOOOORLD!

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The Power to make Anyone's Teeth Clean...

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The power to fly when you are in a plane

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The power to pause and resume time, but you also pause yourself.

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The ability to sleep for 15 straight hours and still feel exhausted...thank you mono.

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The power to turn your external hearing off, only to replace it with the sound of very, very slow internal dubstep.

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The ability to read any language and understand it perfectly but only in pitch black darkness.

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To have your speed, strength, reflexes and senses heightened to the level of whatever is appropriate in your situation.

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The power to remember every moment of your suckish life

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The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

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The power to exist

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EntirelyTooManyNapkins Man

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The power to cough, but only at funerals, and speeches

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The power to summon a Genie lamp, that if rubbed allows you to wish for 3 pointless superpowers.

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The power to walk twice as fast as a guy who walks half the speed you normally have.

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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The power to switch gender identity

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The power to at anytime cover yourself in flames and fly very fast by yelling FLAME ON! only to die a horrible death as you are not immune to your flames...

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The ability to peel potatoes with your mind.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!