The ability to scratch your balls telepathically.

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The ability to blow strawberries

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The power to troll yourself

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The power to STFU!

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the power to eat your computer mouse while its on this site

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the power to make your penis any size you want, only when your wearing sweatpants...

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The power to turn anything you want green.

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the ability to know what the F#CK gotsie is. WHAT THE FU-

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The ability to run at the speed of light, but being born without limbs.

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The power to taste the food you deficate

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Airbending, but only in vacuum.

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the power of cosmic pimping with a space suit on!

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The ability to instantle tangle your hair.

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The power to shape-shift but only into an Alpaca

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The ability to be invicible, only when you commit a suicide.

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the power to shit shards of glass

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The power to turn wine into water

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The power to blow out your ears by watching TV

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The power live 0.0000001 seconds longer.

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The ability to make the skin above your eyebrows really, really dry and flaky---whenever you want!

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The ability to make iguanas in Peru blink uncontrolably

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The power to stop a sneeze before it happens.

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The ability to hold your breath forever, but only in an oxygen-rich environment.

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THE POWER TO FUCK ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SUCK

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!