The ability to vote

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the power to fly only when you are sleeping

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The ability to melt ice cubes with your bare hands.

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the ability to run for president only if you're sarah palin

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The power to control other people's actions... only when you're alone!

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The power to pointlessly read books really fast

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Dust-mite communication. Attack my army of microscopic and fairly harmless beasts!

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The power to become the best racer in NASCAR, but only being able to turn right.

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the power to be able to call 2 people at once.

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The power to move any object, but you're blind

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the power to animate condiments

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The power to read as fast as light when you can't read

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The power To Mind Control People intro having sex with you. it only works on retards...inbred retards...male inbred retards

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The power to automatically register soda caps online, but only if it's Diet.

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The power of Superuselessnessman

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To have the abilities to almost be as powerful as God, but you're an existentialist.

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the power to never get spam

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The power to move infinitely fast up spiral staircases, but the inability to go down them.

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The Power to count backwards extra swiftly.

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The ability to make your fingernails grow an inch whenever you like, but only on a Tuesday

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The power to shit someone elses pants.

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The power to laugh in the face of danger except for that time you walked face first into a glass door.

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The power to manipulate time and space to urinate straight into your bladder, but only if you are extremely dehydrated.

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The power to come up with useless power while you could be doing something literally ANYTHING else

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!