The power to microwave bread

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The power to be able to stop the world for two seconds only every 2 years.

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The power to fly at the speed of light, but then your pants keep coming off!

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Power to make it rain sideways.

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The power to be invisible when singing

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The power to smell any point in time

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The power to fly but only in an airplane.

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The power to digest corn.

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The power to creat your own superpower that's by the way. POINTLESS

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The power to get a song stuck in someone's head.

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The power to fall apart whenever touched. See Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

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The power to turn everything you touch into cheese

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The power to absolutely nothing

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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the power to sneeze whenever you want

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the power to shoot fireballs.....only when your under water

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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The power to poop in the worst time ever and you cannot control it

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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The power to make awesome school lunch for the kids!

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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you are immortal, but only while rubbing your mothers feet.

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The power to change the TV channel but only when the remote is in your hand

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!