the power to become a duck but not be able to quack

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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The power to turn vaseline into mercury whenever you think about throwing away a perfectly good taco

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the ability to do see through any girl's clothes but you must be singing a Demi Lovato song at 76.786 Decibels EXACTLY!

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The power to change the TV channel but only when the remote is in your hand

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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The power to magically generate drugs in your pockets, but only while being arrested or in a police station.

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The power to be really offensive after you finished a sentence U FUKING JAP

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the power to put paper to your nose and blow strange liqeud type substance into it.

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power to permanently shrink one eye.

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The ability to see women naked, but only if they weigh 400 pounds or more.

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The power to create peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without having any peanut butter.

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The power to be afraid of movies that are not scary

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the power to walk on walls but not on the floor

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the power to transform into Kanye West

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the power to enter this website into your favorites page, so you can look up other pointless super powers in times of danger

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The power to sneeze whenever you think about apples.

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The power to never be surprised when the toaster goes off.

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the ability to turn into justin bieber, but they can only say i like you very much

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The power to get an A+ on every test- but you need to study for 5 hours or so ahead of time

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The power to cause weeds to grow twice as fast as usual in your bed of prized petunias.

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The ability to give yourself any super power, but you cannot use it if it is used.

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!