The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

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The ability to eat your self up when out of food.

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The power to blink 1.0000000000001 times faster than the average human.

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The power to automatically blink rapidly at the rate of 1,588 times per second everytime you open your mouth.

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The Power to float on water, except when you're wet..

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To get to know everything Jack Nicholson has said yet you blurb out his comments and random and by the time you face this YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: You think this entry was boring? It is great actually, what? You say it sucks? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The ability to fly, only when you are asleep.

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The power to chew ass and kick bubblegum, but be all out of ass!

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Harnessing Homoeopathic wisdom.

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The power to time travel to the end of the world.

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Moral: THUMBS UPS SOLDIER!

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The power to digest corn.

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The power to sneeze whenever you think about apples.

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The power to breathe slightly faster

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The power to creat your own superpower that's by the way. POINTLESS

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The power to make sweet love to your mother just by caressing her between the legs for a while.

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The power to be invisible, when no cameras or people are looking.

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The power to get a song stuck in someone's head.

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The power to pee, REALLY LOUD.

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The power to fly only one inch off the ground

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To be able to bend glass at will but if any of the glass breaks you break with it.?

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The power to be able to make something usable but have it disappear when you try to use it.

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The power to predict last week's lottery numbers

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!