the power to predict the outcome of any event after it's already happened

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the power to have 20/20 vision only when wearing aviators

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The power to lick your own balls!!!

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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A power to turn into an ant, but only one Time.

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The power to sneeze out of your mouth and cough out of your nose.

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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The power to walk upside down but only when you're in Australia.

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the power to take a poo everywhere but on the toilet

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The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

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the ability to turn into the body of a car. Just the body, no engine, no wheels, nothin, just the body

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The power to have a very keen sense of smell 24/7 but only when a fart is present

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the power to burp every time you drink 1 litre of soda/fizzy

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The power to not move but your always happy.

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The ability to look directly at the sun without damaging your eyes.

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The power to find gold in your nose but only when you pick it in front of others

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The power to make police pull over the black guy next to you (in your car) and anytime this happens you get the ticket not him

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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the power to look directly at the sun only if it is on the other side of the earth

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The power to be afraid of movies that are not scary

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The ability to do moderately well on an exam while sharting next to your crush.

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The power to take my legs off the floor while in a sitting position.

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The power to time travel 60 seconds a minute

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!