Captain Obvious`s powers. A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

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The power to speak only in hashtags. #awkward

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The ability to be a plonk and post 'Pointless Super Powers' that aren't pointless and are could actually be quite useful.

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the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

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The power to do a barrel roll without instruction

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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the power to perminately bring jade goody back from the dead

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The power to have a great singing voice, but only in the shower,

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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The power to teleport, but in doing so you lose a limb.

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The ability to not come back to life when you die.

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the ability to walk barefooted on top of legos without pain but only as long as you don't know they're legos

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The power to laugh in Japanese.

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The ability to lift things up and put them down.

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the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

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You can hear what people think ...in sign language.

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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teleport to the place where you stand

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The power to turn grow a vagina that can whistle on your neck during a full moon.

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The power to think of witty comebacks 3 days too late

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The power to hide your identity from anyone... who doesn't know who you are.

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The power to see water one meter behind you.

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the power to pre-tend your a animal ...

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The power to turn yourslef into a suicide bomber just as he blows himself up

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!