- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to kill yourself with a piece of paper.

The power to make your shit sink or float on command.

The power to become a lime only when you're left nipple brushes against your left shoe whilst it is superglued to your ding dong and you're strapped to a bed naked in the woods.

the power to jump like a black guy.

The power to not exercise.

the power to fly for 2-6 seconds only when every apple product in arizona is at 100% battery level

The power to see five times as clearly and up close, only when looking at insects and arachnids.

the ability to see one-half of a second into the future, but only activates while sneezing.

The power to see in only one random color everyday.

the ability to talk to humans

The power to stop a bullet from hitting someone you care about, once.

The power for electronics to slowly deteriorate and completely break in just 6 months

The power to rotten food.

The ability to make cheese, only edible to vegans, but only on leap days

The power to teleport to the exact location there is a terrorist atack

The ability to get up from the couch.

The aability to double the current amount of money you have, only if the bank gets half the money you have.

The ability to talk to parrots and have them talk back to you

The power to shrink boobs. -Big C

The power to survive at absolute zero

The power to read your own mind

the power to become demented

The power to breathe slightly faster

The power to poop standing up

Pointless Super Powers