the ability to take a fart that other people can actually see.

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The power to know what something looks like, bu only if you have seen it before

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The power to make coma patients bark.

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The power to shoot several liters of blood out of you`re nose at high speed at will.

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The power to stop time, but only when you are waiting for something.

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The power to disguise as an old woman but only with a proper costume and 20 minutes of time in a bathroom to get the make-up done properly.

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to be only be able to walk for 0.0183874662 ever 11.204882884832 days

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The ability to fly while awake, but you are narcoleptic

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Taekwondo

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The power to be white but only in the city limits of detroit or compton.

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The capability to draw penises very well

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The power to turn your pants into underwear, but only when you're wearing them.

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Ability to suck **** like austin calhoun

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The power to breathe

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the power to glow in the light

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The power to have two eyes that can't see very far or through anything.

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The power to summon tastebuds in your asshole, but cannot be undone within 24 hours.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to explode by yelling ALLAH FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEE! (Bonus: you always appear on Al Jazeera when you blow yourself up)

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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The power to simply walk into mordor.

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The power to lift animate objects in the same direction.

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the power die if you think.

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The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!