The power to teleport in the bottom of the sea.

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The power to make a watch that functions as a small phone and is named after a fruit. I would call it Applewatch.

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The ability to tell what a tire tastes like from 6 inches away.

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the power to stop masturbating every day

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The power to know the answer to every question you're asked, but forgetting it instantly.

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The ability to cure polio, but only within U.S. borders.

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The power to make sense of Donald Trump

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the power to get sick

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The power to do unto others as you do unto yourself

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The ability to open your window, and shout retarded things at your neighbors. "HEY! MY ASH SMELLS LIKE BANANAS!"

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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the power to like mass effect 3

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The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

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The power to be the only homosexual in a house of 5 other people who are there for sex.

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The power to keep up with the kardashians

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The power to be the best video game player ever but you have squeakers follow you everywhere calling you a hacker and saying there going to report you

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The power to jump 1 inch higher.

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The power to be invisible to everything but security cameras.

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The power to make somebody fall in love with anybody who isn't you.

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The power to journey into the future of the past.

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The power to make anyone even on live tv such as news or sports to explosively crap their pants.

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The power to smile uncontrollably.

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The power to jump 100 feet in the air and have bones made of glass.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!